When broken pieces make beautiful creations

“She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future”.

What do you think the #1 reason is women do not want to have pictures taken of themselves? I know what mine were, something I still battle and am working to overcome today with the Body Beautiful Brand Ambassador journey.  The main reasons I hear: I am too fat now, I never got rid of my baby belly after having children and my stretch marks are gross.  Oh really……Well I have stretch-marks and a belly too without the blessings of a child.  Or how about the classic, well I really want to do it BUT I need to lose a few pounds, then I’ll have them done…… Yep, been there done that, too. Then there is the, “but it is kind of expensive……” well yeah, so is wine, coffee, hairdos, massages, and nail fills depending on how often you are having them done. Bottom line is with pictures you will have them FOREVER and will be able to relive that moment over and over again.

 I’ll first start out by giving you a word. The Word Kintsukuroi is Japanese. It has an incredibly beautiful meaning. In Japan, broken objects are often repaired with gold or silver. The flaw is seen as a UNIQUE piece of the object’s history adding to its value and to its beauty. I felt this was a great word of inspiration when we feel broken. Our brokenness only adds to our beauty and our value.

As most of you probably read in my Brand Ambassador Blog about me, I have struggled with body image most of my life, and it is still a daily battle. I have been extremely thankful that Brenda chose me to continue to walk my journey though her lens and the Brand Ambassador Program to gain continued confidence in myself, my body and love me for all my broken and chipped pieces. Her photos have been the GOLD you could say like in the photos above. A constant reminder whenever I need them, no matter how hard the day was, that I am beautiful, I am ENOUGH, I am priceless! One of my absolute favorite bible verses I believe ties in nicely is Proverbs 31:25 “She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future”.

I have taken photos at my heaviest, stretchmarks and all. I have come to the realization that I still looked just as beautiful as when I was 40 lbs. lighter. My new mind battles stem from a hip replacement at age 32.  The negative self-talk of feelings of being less of a woman, still not having children yet and with the set back, it just delayed it even further and that crushed me. I find myself questioning what intimacy will be like, am I going to dislocate a hip, being considered old and washed up, “what’s wrong with me”. I can easily say the last six plus weeks of my life have probably been the hardest mentally, physically, and emotionally for me.

I am sharing all this with you because I would like to suggest from the perspective of your feelings……before and after the first shoot in front of the lens of Brenda Kerns. Also, the feelings you get when you look at your photos months down the road when you need a pick me up because your insecurities are rearing their ugly heads again. Hopefully, this will give you courage to break down your walls and do it for yourself and get those pictures taken, regardless of where you are in your journey.

BEFORE the Shoot you feel; Unsure, Uncomfortable, Anxious, Sweaty, Broken, Negative, asking yourself a million questions! Did I pick the RIGHT outfits? Am I skinny enough? I do not think I prepared well enough for this……Is my significant other going to like them? And my answer to you is YES, YES, and YES!

Curves are sexy, and you are ENOUGH at whatever shape you are currently in! Also, you cannot really bring TOO many outfits… so if you can’t decide, just bring them ALL!  Because it allows you to go with the flow, reduces your anxiety, but also allows for “playing with the mood” you and Brenda are currently feeling during the shoot. Brenda and Michael do a phenomenal job at making you feel beautiful, confident, and sexy. Coaching you, and showing you different posing/positions every step of the way. Oh, and cheering you on because Brenda CANNOT control her EXCITEMENT from behind the lens when she captures stunning images. Also, make sure you get your beauty sleep the night before and do not forget to EAT something …I’m being serious GIRL posing is a workout and can be exhausting.  You WILL be sore the next day!

AFTER the shoot You get to see your Images RIGHT AWAY, which I think is so important. WHY? Because you see the beautiful. RAW, unedited YOU! It truly blows you away. That is when you realize YOU are ENOUGH just as you are! Untouched, unfiltered, and beautiful just the way GOD created you to be!

They say pictures are worth 1000 words and they truly are, but even more so. Brenda and Michael take a broken, tattered, scarred, and mentally beaten up woman. Who often gives more to everyone else than herself, and makes you FEEL like those Kintsukuroi bowls refined with GOLD! To me those FEELINGS/ MEMORIES are tied up in these beautifully captured images and it allows me to revisit them just when I need to be reminded most that I AM ENOUGH!

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